While riding in my car, I began listening to an interview on NPR, with Rob and Nick Reiner about their new movie, “Being Charlie”, a rehab story. The conversations with people who called in about their experiences with drugs and alcohol, reminded me that I had also once felt the need to experiment. Neither gave me any true feelings of satisfaction. I found that the negativity of substance abuse didn’t leave much room for comfort or reality blending. I did however, at an early age, find writing was a great relief for my loneliness and frustrations. I found I could write happy songs and poems that would bring me closer to my friends. I listened to songs that inspired me to write about my feelings of love, or my impressions of what to expect from true friendships. I remember writing my first song when I was 10 years old. It was about a “mean old man” being the only one able to face this world. I wrote others and eventually performed in front of people in my own age group. At the time, writing and singing were my escapes. I needed them because there were really no people in my life whom I trusted enough to confide in. I didn’t have the kind of relationship with my parents that I felt able to discuss personal problems. I had to fight my own battles. There were times I should’ve brought my father in on bigger problems, but I didn’t, because I was afraid he’d be in more trouble trying to defend me. I either kept them to myself, or took on the offending force alone, and lived with the consequences. Writing gave me the friend I needed and the counselor I could confide in, as I worked through the solutions.
Today, I still write frequently, and use it as an outlet for expression. Writing will always be a part of my relationships with people, and my world. It will still help me search the avenues of my worries and ambitions.
(c) Rick Wyman